Mom demands 21-year-old daughter covers her rent debt to keep her from getting kicked out, daughter refuses to help: ‘It's not my responsibility’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 16, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

We all probably know our fair share of single parents. Kids these days grow up in a social environment where it's almost more expected to be surrounded by other kids with divorced parents than not.

Yet, being a single parent doesn't mean anything about your capabilities. I would go as far as to say that some of the best parents I know are raising their kids alone. They are responsible, attentive, and kind in ways I rarely see in other circumstances. This doesn't say anything about other families, it just goes to show that being a single parent doesn't give you an excuse to be a bad one.

However, that seems to be the approach the mother in the story below took in her parenting. She is a single mother to two daughters, 21 and 17 years old, but she has not taken a helpful part in their lives for years. She doesn't work, has no money, and fully expects her eldest to help her out with whatever she needs. And it was so, until the 21-year-old finally decided she had enough.

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  • Even though she is paying for all of her mother's bills, groceries and utilities, her mother still demands money to help her pay rent. In fact, she accumulated so much debt to her landlord, that if she doesn't pay it soon, she is going to get kicked out. But her daughter finally decided she cannot help her mother any longer, which led to quite a family dispute.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story.

  • 01
    www
    via RealPeopleGroup

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for not helping my mom so she doesn’t get evicted?"

    I 21F live on my own, have since 19. I have my own life, dogs, kid, etc as well as taking care of my younger sister. My mom 43F, is an empty nester, barely works, has no true responsibilities. Today my
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 03
    mom demands, doesn't ask but tells me to give her $1200 to pay her rent. Her rent is normally $400 but because she hasn't been paying it, it's piled up. It was roughly almost $3000 overdue
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 04
    where she agreed to do $100-$200 weekly payments until she got caught up recently, well she told her new landlord she would pay march + remainder balance all at once, I'm not sure
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 05
    why she would do that. She doesn't work a whole lot, 3x a week 4-6 hours max. Sometimes less than that. She does have a lot of health issues but still able to run the streets. I help her with
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 06
    everything except rent, I pay her consumers bill (utilities) phone bill, groceries and she drives my car for free doesn't pay the car note, insurance or gas. She used the excuse that her job doesn't pay enough or she wasn't working enough to pay her bills which is
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 07
    why she let the rent get so behind. Instead of taking the small amounts she did make and putting it towards the rent she spent it on other things. The last two days she's been subliminally guilt tripping me to give her the
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 08
    money, saying "I'm gonna be homeless, I'm gonna have to live on the streets” and so much more. I told her I couldn't give her $1200 but that I could help and she got upset telling me that it wasn't good enough that if I
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 09
    wasn't going to give her for the full $1200 just forget about it. Then she goes. I only have till tonight to pack up what I can pack up. Thanks a lot. so I asked her why she would sign a paper saying she could pay everything
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 10
    at once knowing that she couldn't I obviously don't want her homeless, but I can't fork out more and more money. I've been taking care of myself since I was 16 and before that my grandparents footed the bill while
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 11
    I lived with my mom. I did tell her that if she wasn't so irresponsible that she would be able to pay her bills and wouldn't be facing an eviction. She used the excuse that she was a single mom and had single mom struggles. That's why she's in the position she is in now.
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 12
    I told her she hasn't taken care of her kids since I was 16 so that really isn't an excuse anymore, I take care of her other child now. She had brought up that she's been paying the rent weekly but I also said had she of been doing
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 13
    that from the beginning she wouldn't be so behind or behind at all. I wasn't trying to be mean or rɩ'e, just realistic that she's always been irresponsible. Her reply was OK. Whatever I was a
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 14
    mom. We already know that I guess I'm just gonna be homeless. So AITA for not helping my mom?
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 15
    Pay the Rent !
    via Aleksandr Kichigin
  • 16
    MidnightAngel96 First, NTA Second - your mom is a grown a adult who needs to fix her own problems. She signed that note fully expecting you to give her the 1200. Now shes up the creek because you wont give her the whole amount.
    via MidnightAngel96
  • 17
    Stop covering for her. Stop paying her bills. You're already taking care of your sister (how much younger is she BTW?) - you're doing MORE than enough. Did I say NTA????
    via MidnightAngel96
  • 18
    Ghosty_Graves OP She's 17 but been here since 16, my sister also is very child like I was exposed to a lot making me grow up faster and my sister was the opposite, she was still playing with toys like a year or two ago. She's not mentally ready for adulthood at all. The best way I could describe it is she's still 14.
    via Ghosty_Graves
  • 19
    Hwy_Witch Let her get kicked out, it's not your responsibility
    via Hwy_Witch
  • 20
    rockology_adam NTA. Unfortunately, sometimes tough love is the only way, and you might need to let your mother be homeless so that she learns what her lifestyle leads to.
    via rockology_adam
  • 21
    I'd probably have some sympathy for her if it was the case that she was a mother still caring for children, but since you have your sister and call her an empty nester, that's hardly the issue. If you want to be helpful to your mother, find
    via rockology_adam
  • 22
    to be helpful to your mother, find out the names and addresses of some women-only or family- friendly shelters she can make use of, and check in on her and make sure she has toiletries and so on.
    via rockology_adam
  • 23
    Andagonism Buy her a sleeping bag, she will need it
    via Andagonism
  • 24
    macross 1984 ΝΤΑ Your mother brought this upon herself and expect you to cover her shortcoming. You have your life and also carry the responsibility of taking care of your younger sister which is admirable. But your mother?
    via macross1984
  • 25
    If I was in your shoe, I will feel guilty but with that kind of attitude, I will not help because even if you help this time, she will come back for more. To her, you are an ATM.
    via macross1984
  • 26
    Calli2988 NTA. Stop paying her bills. Get your car and keys back...get it to a dealership and get it re-keyed. Your mom should be paying you child support for your sister.
    via Calli2988
  • 27
    Wandering_aimlessly9 YTA to yourself. Cut your mother off. Tell her she's an adult and you're not paying her bills anymore. Nothing that's it. You're taking care of her child for her. She's not an empty nester. She just pawned her
    via Wandering_aimlessly9
  • 28
    kid off on you. I commend you for stepping up for your little sis but that's where I draw the line. You deserve to be respected. No more. Stop her financial ab e. Cut her off.
    via Wandering_aimlessly9

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family drama aita kids mother siblings reddit story parenting rent family sister daughter Reddit mom money women single mom parents children
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